Throughout this course I feel I have developed a working practice that has come very unexpectedly – my diagnosis of Asperger’s has been a major bonus and a real help to me in ways I did not expect. I have accepted for the first time my quirks and instead of fighting against theme I am now reveling in them which has given me a real freedom – I have noticed I am increasingly more experimental and investigative and willing to work both in a very detailed manner (the devil is in the detail) but also in a much looser and more expressive way … it is this looser style that has been so freeing and so revealing to me.
I am suddenly wanting to really cut loose and find what I am passionate about – there is no doubt art history remains a major influence but finally I am also really wanting to investigate contemporary artists and not just because the course work or my tutor instructs me to do so! I want to research how the artists have developed their techniques or how they work in the studio – the inquiring mind I had as a child has been rediscovered in a playful but more deeply investigative manner.
A further revelation has been how to finally work in my sketchbooks – my tutor suggested using more flowery and expressive language in my blogs and this has enabled me to really say what I want to …. by this I mean I can finally speak! How is this translated to my sketchbooks? part 4 sketchbook seems to be just a series of disjointed sketches that are not really developed and the only connecting theme is my garden as they are primarily studies of flowers or loose sketches of the garden as a whole but with no real composition – BUT I now realise that I am writing freely in my blogs and as I write ideas form … I am a writer more than a sketcher and that is the revelation! By writing, or by typing as I am considerably faster (I am an ex-secretary), I can get my thoughts down and as I do so the ideas flow freely and quickly – my brain seems to open a door of creativity and words that I feel able to use descriptively …. and this is where my Aspie brain really gets let loose!! Now I have recognised this I feel that the way forward with my sketchbooks is to use them in a more journal like fashion which will then create the sketches and samples in a natural format – part 5 sketchbook will prove to be a very different format! If necessary in time I may need to keep separate artistic journals that can be used in conjunction with my sketchbooks – these journals may be jumbles of thoughts or mind maps, which I also finding increasingly useful to get the ideas out of my mind in a quick but logical format, but they will enable me to use the way I find most productive in a productive manner and one that can be translated to sketch and to stitch.
FINALLY I am finding the way that works for me …. the personal methodology has been the methodology that has unlocked something for me as it has made total sense. I now understand why I need to research contemporary artists and how they can benefit my work and I also understand the cyclical nature of the methodology and this is what I have needed to discover. I am fully aware of my need to work on composition and this will be an ongoing research project as well as ongoing exercise and I fully understand the need for that – this is a weak point that I recognise.
I do feel that somewhere between Part 4 and Part 5 there has been a light-bulb moment and it is one I am very grateful for …. actually never mind the light bulb the whole chandelier has been switched on!!